I need to tell you something. I hate long nails. They completely gross me out because I can't get over the thought of all the germs and grime that accumulate underneath. My grandma was a nurse and kind of OCD and one of my earliest memories was of this pink rectangular "nail brush" that she gave me. She taught me to brush beneath my fingernails every time I washed my hands. Now, whenever I see someone with long nails cutting fruit or handling food, I feel a little squeamish about all the gunk that's mixing in.
Don't get me wrong, I like the look of long tapered painted nails and a few times when I forgot to cut my nails, I too was enamoured by how they afforded my knobbly unremarkable hands with a delicate, elegant quality. My fingers were slender blades of grass.
But have you ever witnessed someone digging out the white flaky filth from their nails (usually with their opposite nail)? It's nasty! It sheds on their laps in a heap or snows down on some unsuspecting carpet surface that I feel sorry for. I would chalk it up to picking-your-nose level of gross.
You know what those white flakes under your nails are? They're your dead skin cells from when you scratched an itch or the microscopic pieces of your scalp when you ran your fingers through your hair. They're the plaque you picked from your teeth after a meal. They're your eye crud that you rubbed when you woke up from your sleep. They're pieces of the itchy leftover backne that scabbed over that you scratched. They're the feet callous you've been digging at.
I will always always always prefer having short nails. How short? Can't even open soda cans because there's not enough nail to pry open the tab-kind of short.
Lastly - I wanted to announce that I'm back! Back to blogging, that is. I have a LOT to tell you after all this time.
