Subway etiquette

During rush hour, when everyone fights to get on and you almost trip because a feisty granny shoves you from behind, just be cool -- even as her gnarled fists dig into your back. You don't want to be that jerk who was mean to the granny and you really don't want to raise the ire of an entire platform of already-irate passengers. When you do finally make it inside the car, crammed against a 300-pound man's pudge, try not to notice that his sweat beads are dripping onto your shirt. Just have your earphones on and be thankful that the music's drowning out his loud breathing.